11 Amazingly Effective Tips My Husband & I learned During Our Secret Struggle with Sexual Intimacy

RhondaMarriage, Relationships0 Comments

Are you still struggling with sexual intimacy in your Marriage?

Remember last week?

I gave you a glimpse of my Marital struggle with sexual intimacy. And….I have AWESOME news!

There have been amazing improvements in just a short period of time because my husband and I have taken steps to tenderly help each other through this difficult trial.

First, we hit our knees and prayed fervently. We realized we can count on God to meet our needs when we put Him first in everything.

When a Husband and Wife seek God together first, He will meet your needs!

Then we sought Godly counseling from our Pastors and began reading the book by Ed and Gaye Wheat: Intended for Pleasure: Sex Technique and Sexual Fulfillment in Christian Marriage.

This book has been a precious gift to us!

We found nuggets of rich truth in this book, which have been extremely effective and I want to share this treasure with you!

I acknowledge the fact that every Marriage is different.

So, what we learned may or may not apply to you.

However, it was a foundational starting point to get to the bottom of our problem.

The steps we took applied to the dynamics of our particular relationship.

The following amazingly effective tips will give you ideas of where to start working through your struggles with sexual intimacy in your Marriage.

  • Resolve all anger and resentment to knock down barriers to intimacy.
  • Constructive communication- agree to keep talking until problems are resolved and take breaks when the discussion becomes heated.
  • Limit discussions about conflict to the current conflict without dragging up old failures.
  • Stop all criticism-give praise, encouragement, and appreciation instead.
  • Be sensitive to one another’s needs.
  • Relax and remember to enjoy your spouse’s friendship and company.
  • Non-sexual touching and affection is an important element of Marital intimacy
  • Relate sexually as lovers. Snuggle and hold each other after you make love.
  • Have the attitude of thinking about your spouse first, instead of being preoccupied with yourself. (Evaluate your attitude toward your spouse and your relationship.)
  • Trust is extremely important in Marriage.
  • Rely on God’s insight and power to measure your physical love by 1 Corinthians 13:4-8.

Love is patient and kind; it does not envy or boast; Love is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; Love is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.Love never ends. 1 Corinthians 13:4-8.

When your Marriage is characterized by tenderness, you and your spouse will become close enough to anticipate each other’s needs and changes in feelings.

Concern for the other’s well-being and a servant’s heart will always result in great sexual intimacy.

Genuine sexual intimacy will renew and refresh your relationship and sex is a joyous reunion when conflicts are resolved with care and compassion.

What tips have you learned to overcome your struggle with sexual intimacy in your Marriage? Share in the comments section…. 


Wheat, E. & Wheat, G. (1977) Intended for Pleasure: Sex Technique and Sexual Fulfillment in Christian Marriage. Fleming H Revell Baker Publishing Group, Grand Rapids Michigan. 

All Bible references are retrieved from Biblegateway. 

© 2016 – 2017, Rhonda Marie Stalb. All rights reserved.

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